Raising Children Not for the Convenience of Parents: Our first daughter Haru was born rather small. What would be the best environment for her to grow-up in? This also became time to review my work environment. Even just for walking, she needed to try walking firmly since there is not much flat ground around our house. next

Haru adjusted well to the undulating environment and her way of walking improved in six months. Human beings primarily have ability to become able to do things that was not possible before. The environment has a big impact on the growth of children. Not overlooking what she needs "right now" for her to grow nicely is what we really want.

It could be living here for now. It could be the time to take her to the river. For example, if my wife and I want to tell her that playing with water is fun we splash water on each other’s face. We kept telling her "You don’t need to be afraid of water." So Haru now loves swimming. Observing and considering "what to tell her at that time" is important. After consideration, TV became something unnecessary. It gave her opportunity to expose her own energy. next

Our children say, "Playing with game machines is no fun, it’s not exciting." I think that they enjoy playing shopkeeper better. They seem to know reality is much more interesting than the virtual world. They don’t say that they want game machine or TV. Instead they say, "We want a horse!" It’s a wonder. I would suggest choosing which TV program to show to children. It is important to choose and provide information rather than just keeping the TV on and flowing over the children. next

Most of the times that adults scold children, it is for their convenience. For example, adults automatically tell noisy children "be quiet." There is often room for consideration. If you want them to be quiet because you want to talk "Please be quiet." will be appropriate. You don’t say "be quiet" to your friends, do you? Children are not possessions. They need to be recognized as individuals with human rights. This way of thinking will lead to an attitude where we do not scold children for the convenience of adults.

I think that parents need to consider how much freedom they can give their children. Let’s say, children are playing on your hand, how much you can spread the palm of your hand is where you should actually put your energy. next

At our home, children are allowed to eat with their hands and they really enjoy eating. I prefer not to tell them things like "use chopsticks" or "do not leave anything on your plate." I’d rather they fully enjoy their meal. There are many ways to raise children. Amongst them, I’d choose "to eat by yourself." If they choose to eat using the easiest and efficient way for themselves, that’s fine. When they grow up and go to school, they may feel ashamed with the way they eat. Then they’ll just need to try a different way.

I remember when Haru was 2 or 3 years old, even though her hands and face were full of rice and very sticky her face was beaming with smiles. She must have felt so much fun eating rice with her hands. It is excellent to feel eating is fun! To me eating properly means eating with fun and enjoying the taste. We do not serve miso-soup so hot, because children might spill it and they like to eat the ingredients with their hands. That’s fine. next

As children are growing-up, rather than using chop sticks, I think it’s important that they can put their hands into the bowl and touch the ingredients. Also when Haru was about 2 years old, She kept trying to pour one glass of water into another glass over and over, spilling water all over the place. My wife and I kept cleaning up the spilt water and squeezing the cloth again and again, thinking in our mind "spilling again…" For sure I think children are learning "something".

Things can look meaningless from an adults’ point of view and we might want to tell them to stop. But "something " is there. "Something" that attracts them to try. The world is sustainable when adults raise their own children properly. The real reward is children growing up steadily.

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